Today I'm feeling blue  from time to time.  Growing fairly weary of looking at my face in the mirror and having to spend so much time just to make myself look presentable to the world out there.  I long to just be able to wash and go instead of having to do all that I do just so my scarring isn't noticeable and also now that I'm in my late thirties there's the added not needed issue of lack of collagen and laughter lines creeping in and sagging skin .

My mother looked at a before photo of myself before I took my Perlane Filler injections last week and she commented that I am not photogenic at all (grins).  I have a chipmunk face ie fat cheeks - always have since a child and people used to love to pinch my cheeks which I absolutely hated!!  Though my mother said that the Perlane has helped my looks in that my face now looks thinner.  Strange cos I personally can't see that.  I still have black and blue marks where the injections were and it's obvious to me.  Today, tired of putting on make up and went without and stayed at home, not wanting to go out. 

I can't wait for my Isolagen injections which will most likely be September/October this year; with my biopsy being in July.  If it adds 10 years to my looks, that'd be great - ie just to be able to look 'normal' and lead a 'normal' life instead of cringing each time someone looks at me and thinking ok he/she must be looking at how bad my acne scarring is etc.  Acne and the scarring has such a bad effect on the self esteem and perhaps has made me into the person I am today ....(sighs) .... a good thing at times I guess as people feel very comfortable with me .... though at times I could do with a bit more assertiveness in real life ....

Thanks for the space to be able to share my thoughts

Just Me